What happened to the faces of the people I used to know?

Ladies and Gentlemen - Leave your face alone

Surprised, Sad, Happy? You’ll have to ask…

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I was introduced to a lovely lady who had very obviously and very recently spent some time having fluids injected into her lips.

It was hard not to stare. It was the swollen mounds that moved as she tried to coordinate her lips and teeth to form words. The weeping injection spots were uncomfortable for everyone.

I understand the desire to add some scaffolding to defy gravity or smooth out a little wrinkle or two. Although, talking to someone with a face full of Botox is a guessing game of emotions. It would be less confusing if we could just text.

Faces of the 90’s

Growing up I became adept at spotting a surgical enhancement from a mile away – our home was a haven for recovery. 

I recall many mornings sitting across from a solemn bandaged face, eyes bruised, sipping breakfast through a straw. I would try to align the cereal box in front me to dull the horror. Even today, I think I could recite the ingredients of Corn Flakes if I was asked.

This was before Botox and it was all about the knife.

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My favourite time was when the ‘ladies who lunched’ would get together.

It was easy to pick the Lower Lifters (work done on the jowls) the top lip is never quite straight.  And, after a few champers, the muscles would relax a little too much and the glass would miss the mouth.

Their shoulder and your shoes would be soaked in Moweee (aka Moet and Chandon). Ah – the early 90’s…

The Upper Lifters (work done on the frowns) were bat shit scary. Their faces are on.  All. The. Time.

If they smiled or god forbid laughed – it was a pain to watch. They were frozen into one facial expression for life. Just one.

Once an Upper Lifter fell asleep on the couch next to me (she snored loudly) and as I went to give her a ‘time for bed’ nudge, I recoiled in horror – her eyes were not closed.

SHE WAS SLEEPING WITH HER EYES OPEN.

Don’t even get me started on the Face Peelers.

Would you / have you had a tweak?

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