My Barre Era

Ah, youth — a deceptively distant memory.

I joined a barre class.

Spoiler: it was a big mistake.

Intimidated by the midriff-revealing twenty-something bunnies at the local gym, I joined a ladies-only fitness centre tucked away in suburbia.

My exercise routine consists of a little cardio (walking downstairs to grab a snack) and stretching (for the remote).

I approached my first fitness class with a healthy attitude — and with the assurance from the instructor that I would not be the worst in the class.

I was.

Barre

Having donned a tutu in my youth and retaining complete faith in muscle memory, I was pretty sure I had this.

I had forgotten about pliés.

This is serious strength training. My legs did not just quiver — they shook.

I mean, spasm-type shake.

How those graceful ballerinas and ballerinos leap and glide across the stage like they’re suspended on a wire is beyond my comprehension.

I began contemplating moving the bed downstairs.

Going down the stairs is easy — it’s a controlled fall, after all.

Going up stairs is another matter entirely. Lifting a quad induces an involuntary groan from somewhere deep and primal.

I will go back.

I will.

I will.

I will.

Update:

I did not go back to barre.

I did try an introductory silk aerial class and could not walk properly for a week.